All around the world, some countries have a custom for women to adopt their husband’s name after marriage. No matter where you are getting married, the one question that always manages to make multiple rounds and is repeated across many different cups of tea, is” Will you change your name post marriage? ” It is kind of a fraught question. There may be instances where women would retain their names simply because they didn’t want to yield to societal norms.
Women are all told taking a partner’s name is an act of love, but also that they are independent women who do not need any heterosexual gender norm. So what can you do about it?
Feminism allows us free choice rather than a prescriptive mode of behaviour, and despite the misogynist history of name changing, it is still perfectly fine for any woman to do what she wants with her name. It is her name. Let’s lay off the judgment on this one.
- The Reasoning – Challenge It!
You may have heard this – But it is what some people do. There are many good reasons you can have for not opting for a name change. You are already known professionally under your maiden name for a very long time, and changing it would also mean an extra waste of time in owing people an explanation even if you do not want to. A name change requires a change in a lot of legal processes such as visa documentation, and re-applying would cause a severe dent in both your pocket and your brain. It just isn’t worth it.
The concept of changing names for a woman is, after all, very misogynistic in origin. In ancient times, it connoted a shift in ownership: from a father’s property to that of a husband’s.
But if you are changing your name out of choice and not because of the societal norms, then go for it.
- Amalgamate Into A Fun New Combination
The thing about names is that they are actually, just bunches of symbols and sounds. Can you squish them together in a way that sounds better than either one of them on their own combined? Sure, experiment!
Take beginnings, ends, middles, and rearrange. The real thing about names is that they collect their associations, and combining their sounds is not a violation of your ancestry or your lineage.
- Adopt an Entirely New Surname For Both Of You
How about you keep your name, your spouse does the same, and you both mutually agree to adopt a whole new name that makes you both look a whole lot cooler? Nothing stops you from changing your name to Clooney or Kardashian. Go crazy!
- Go through with the name changing process
That being said, if you still want to make it prominent or display your mutual love for each other and ignore the several options you have at your disposal, then go through with the process to find out how you feel about it! If you want to do that, we wish you the best of luck with the hassle of DMV and passport office. There’s no escaping that!
The diversity of opinion on this is quite startling, and the idea that refusing a husband or partner’s name is the only feminist option is not the situation. Name changing or refusing to do so does not signify anything. Acts of love cannot and should not be at the risk of compromising your personality leading to an identity crisis.
Not doing so is neither feminist nor does it show a lack of love. It only goes on to show that the woman does not succumb to societal pressure and chooses what name she wishes to live by, and it is as simple as that. Not enforcing anything on anyone and letting them be is the greatest act of love you can show. Let us know if it worked out for you!