This time last year I wrote a post about Eliza turning into a wailing banshee from nowhere and I hoped that it was a phase she would grow out of.
It seems not!
The trouble is she is stepped it up to a whole new level. It almost feels like a constant battle from the minute she wakes up until she finally closes her eyes. I don’t remember this stage with Abbey and although the boys have their moments it is nothing on this scale and pretty much anything sets her off:
- Her brother’s say something that she doesn’t agree with. I know she hasn’t learned the art of debate yet but to simply screech if she doesn’t agree is painful.
- You attempt to share the sofa with her and she doesn’t want you there – beware of a perforated ear drum
- You say the dreaded “N” word
- You ask her to walk anywhere
- Don’t you dare take her shopping, unless it is for her. Cue epic meltdown on the middle of Asda with even sympathetic shoppers trying to charm her out of her tantrum.
- You won’t play the game she wants you to
- You don’t produce food / drink as soon as it is demanded
- You say she cannot wear a dress – this lead to her wearing a white dress to Open Farm Sunday at the weekend and then moaning that the straw tickled her legs
- You dare win at anything that she is taking part in – her brothers take great delight in doing this and it really winds her up!
- You ask her to tidy up the mess she has made
I could go on, but you get the picture.
We have tried positive reinforcement with no success, joked about buying ear defenders, lost tempers and tried ignoring but nothing seems to work.
Is this a normal phase, is your fearsome four year old going through the same thing?
Any recommendations to help get through this stage other than ending the day with wine / gin / chocolate or cake?
I’d love to hear them………….
No advice, but you have my sympathy – Syd seems to have spells like this too, but fortunately just for a few days here and there! Xx
Thanks Sonya, I am not sure if it is a girl thing or just the age. Just had to endure a meltdown because I asked her to put her shoes on
Hugs to you. You’ve probably tried most methods. I would just pick one and stick to it. The two things I did were to either say it made me sad when that noise and behaviour was used and I would leave the room until they stopped. The other thing I did was send them upstairs and tell them to count to 10 loudly so I could hear it (this was my alternative to the naughty step) and then come back down. This seemed to focus them and calm mine down a little. xxx
Thanks Anthea – like that idea, will try it!!
I have no idea what to say as I have screamers too! It gets me down a lot but wine definitely helps 😉
Am I wrong in wanting to know what the dreaded N word is? I presume it is something innocent lol. Can you make it into a game so she gets a reward for being quiet?
I don’t really have any helpful advice, but in my limited experience this does seem to be a girl thing, which is sort of weird because we think about girls as being more articulate than boys, so would presume that they would be able to express themselves better. Good luck with it and I do think Eliza is a very pretty name (despite the screeching!)
I can imagine that screeching gets really wearing – I struggle with it when children do it just for a while, but must be worse when you can’t get away from it. I think it’s a phase quite a few go through.
Every family seems to have one of these ‘screechers’. In our family it’s the middle one. Boy has she got a pair of lungs on her – always has and I suspect at 13 now, always will do! It’s hard work though isn’t it?
This must be so difficult for you to cope with but I’m sure she will grow out of it as she learns to communicate her feelings in other ways. x x
Oh no what a stage for you to be going through, heres hoping you get to a quieter one soon.
Give her the gin? Just kidding… I do hope she grows out of it and I have no advice to offer you lovely, just a huge virtual hug instead x
Oh no, what a difficult stage you must be going through. Hope its just a phase and passes eventually x
haha this so sounds like my lot , all of them but specially my youngest i think somehow the youngest always gets the attitudes worse as the grow but its funny
I hate to be sexist but I see his A LOT with other people’s 4 year old girls. One mother said she was just as bad as a child herfself and it was karma. SO what were you like lol?? Seriously I hope it passes soon
I have seen this a few times and it always seems to be little girls in families with more than one sibling, so maybe it’s an attention thing? The answer could be to make sure she sometimes gets your full attention, but, equally sometimes doesn’t, in a structured way, like maybe do an activity together, and another time, do something the boys want to do. So that she is reassured that she is important, but learns that other people are equally important. My only other suggestion is be consistent. People have said to me many times that they have tried lots of things with no effect, but you sometimes have to peservere for what seems like an eternity before they finally take the hint! Patience is key, I’m afraid.
My 3 year old is pretty noisy and has started really shouting if he gets upset about something…it’s so loud! I hope it’s a phase that passes soon!
Oh dear Kara how Difficult but I know you’ll knwo as a Mum of 6 that consistency works in the end. One of my twins was so highly strung and we tried all sorts but she has grown through it. Mich x
Oh dear, hopefully it’s something she’ll grow out of. My boy is always having weird and random phases! xx
My youngest was a screecher and I promise they do grow out of it, she is now 15 and such a sensible girl. The thing that used to set her off was loud noises, or if the house was particularly busy. She still hates loud noises now, although she no longer throws a wobbler, Thankgod lol x
Oh Kara this is so hard isn’t it. POD is 4 too and clearly trying to stretch the boundaries. She’s not a screecher but she does come downstairs (what feels like) 84 times a night. I’ve learnt that getting cross makes her worse and she’s better if she’s offered something (rather than has something taken away) at the end of that week. Maybe it’s just a four-year-old thing!
I screech. At a great ear-piercing pitch. Is it a phase? I am not sure, it’s when i get frustrated or angry. Good Luck! Ickle Pickle x