Going through a divorce is rarely simple and, as parents, finding a ‘new normal’ — and opening a line of communication that best serves the interests of your children — can be incredibly difficult. Whether this new stage in your relationship is marked by bitterness, regret, indifference, or something else, focusing on the family you have created together, finding ways of
maintaining stability amid so many changes, and offering reassurance should all be top priorities as you move forward.
Read more about helping your children through your divorce below.
Gentle Honesty
Being honest about the changes happening in their lives is incredibly important. As the new adjustments become routine, tiptoeing around the truth will only raise their expectations for a return to ‘normalcy’ — which, of course, is not possible.
Explain the situation as they need to know it, omitting any details that do not impact them directly. The reasons behind your divorce are your business, and the consequences need to be explained in a clear, equitable way. While they will still be upset by this new information, using terms they can understand will help to prevent them from feeling unnecessarily confused and
overwhelmed.
Show a United Front
It can be very beneficial to cast aside any negative feelings you may have for one another, and sit down together with your children. Demonstrating that you are still a family, in spite of the new dynamic, will go a long way to allay any fears of disintegration. Remember that whatever feelings you hold for one another, your role within the family remains
the same; creating a safe, nurturing space in which they can grow. Offer as much reassurance as they need, and create an open line of communication — available to them whenever they need it — without divulging details they are too young to understand.
Seek Advice from a Family Solicitor
A sense of stability and normality is important to people of any age, but children typically find it much harder to cope with changes at home. Speaking with a solicitor for advice on family arrangements will help you to reach a positive conclusion that best supports the interests of your children.
Amid the emotional upheaval of a divorce, even couples who remain on good terms can struggle to agree over this arrangement without professional and impartial help. Keep help at hand by reaching out to a solicitor working in the local area. If you are living in Gloucestershire, speaking with Cheltenham divorce lawyers can help to make the process more manageable for all involved.
Recognise Signs of Emotional Stress
Children are incredibly sensitive to changes in their environment, and while certain changes in behaviour are to be expected during a divorce, it is important to pay close attention to their mood and habits, and to seek professional help if it appears that they are struggling.
Each stage of development presents its own symptoms of emotional stress. For younger children, this may mean falling behind the typical developmental stages, or regressing to an earlier stage. In older children, the opposite can be true. Any significant or long term negative changes should be addressed by a professional, in order to ensure that they will still be able to thrive under challenging circumstances.