Parenting, especially the first time, has got to be one of the biggest learning curves you will ever face.
When I had my first child, babies were almost alien to me and I had a sugar-coated idea of what being a parent was going to be like.
No amount of talk, or coaching prepared me for the change to my life and it was a real shock to the system.
Now I am a proud grandparent, but even with 5 siblings, I have seen my daughter and her partner go through exactly the same thing.
Possibly the hardest thing, for a new mum, is dealing with the aftermath of the birth, both physically and also mentally. Plus throw in a dose of sleep deprivation, hormones that are all over the place and it’s no wonder that it can all feel a little overwhelming.
One problem many of us face is loneliness after having a baby.
The first few weeks of maternity leave are exciting and when you have your baby, the first couple of weeks race by in a blur, but once the visitors numbers start decreasing and your partner has gone back to work after parental leave, being at home with a baby 24/7 can feel restrictive and you really start to miss properly interacting with people.
The longer this goes on, the harder it is to do something about it.
How to combat loneliness as a new parent
1. Join Emma’s Diary #sleeplessarmy campaign. It is a safe space on Facebook where like-minded parents and carers join forces and support one another through the crazy journey that is parenthood. I made some really close friends whilst tweeting on the night feeds when mine were babies that I still chat to regularly.
2. Attend a toddler group or baby class and sit with a mum who’s there alone and chat
3. Attend a baby swimming class, nothing bonds you more than singing nursery rhymes and bouncing your baby through the water. It often makes baby sleepy afterwards and is the ideal time to go for a cheeky coffee afterwards
4. Go to the park and chat to another mum who is there by herself
5. Buy an annual pass to a local attraction, or ask for one as a gift. You will find other local mums there at the same time and it is a great way of giving the kids an experience and meeting new people. Babies and children under 3 are often free and it gets you out of the house when maternity pay runs out
6. Talk to your partner and arrange a day out on their day off, even if it is just a walk to the park or a stroll along the beach
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I went to every baby and toddler group that i could find. I made sure I went to one every day.
Kept in touch with people from our anti-natal class and went to park and toddler classes each week
I joined local baby groups and met lots of new mums local to me x
I joined a local Mother and Baby group and Baby Ballet classes!
I joined a baby and toddler group and a I went to the park.
I found it really hard when I had my first as I was pretty isolated. I went out to mum and baby groups which really helped It’s good to be at places with people going through the same or something similar.
The playgroups in my village have been absolutely amazing and free and met so many lovely mums xx
I was lucky to have a fab post natal group and we met up weekly for YEARS! To be honest though, those early years were lonely especially as i didn’t have my own mother around and everyone else seemed to.
I will never forget the loneliness and fear that accompanied me through motherhood the first time round. In some ways things are so much better but I still think mums are often too hard on themselves.
I walked for miles with my baby in the Pram x
Baby classes really help and plenty of walks
Lonliness is hard as a new parent, you have this idealistic view on what it will be like and it is nothing like it. I walked miles with my daughter in her pram and joined groups when i could
The #sleeplessarmy campaign on FB sounds like a great way to connect, my mummy had her NCT group which helped too x
We went to Baby Gym and made new friends!
These are great ideas! I remember when I had my son, I was away from my family and I was so lonely. Luckily I was introduced to some parent and child play groups and this helped me have a little break and to chat with other parents just like myself
joining baby groups
I just kept going for a walk and talking to everyone
I remember being shocked at just how little sleep I got at first and that really plays havoc with your emotions and hormones and can lead to loneliness if you’re finding it hard to make friends. Mich x
went to mother and baby groups
With difficulty! It can be a very lonely time, but my network fo new mums that I met through NCT really kept me going. Great to have at least one other person who was in the same boat.
Tried to see my family as much as possible
I joined a few new mum groups and went to any local events.
Becoming a new parent is life-changing and so important to ensure that you continue to connect with others to save your sanity. I found that reading blogs and social media groups helped.
Joining groups to meet lots of new people
I went to all the classes and stay and plays at the local children’s centre
I got loads of books and lost myself in others lives rather than let myself think xx
I tried to hang out with my mum as much as possible. And now I am so glad I did. She adores her grandchild.
i joined lots of new baby groups and tried to get out as much as possible
Going to baby groups and crafting!
I went to a couple of baby groups and read and interacted with other Mums online in baby forums x
Make friends with other new parents but also see lots of non baby parents too. It helps to have a conversation that doesn’t always revolve around your newborn.
I found it really difficult time after I had my Son.
But is showed me how strong I am and who my friends are
go to church mother and baby groups, they are very involving`
I had twins and found it a massive struggle the new mums with single hygienist didn’t get it. It wasn’t too i met a lovely lady with twins a couple of years older that I managed to find someone to talk to
If I felt lonely I would take the baby out for a but, even if just for a walk round the supermarket, it was enough to get out of the house.
I met up with friends and family when I could and threw myself into being the best mother I could the rest of the time so there wasn’t much time to feel lonely even though I’m a single parent x