Should Your Children Be Dressing Themselves?

If you’ve ever picked your child up from school and noticed that they’re wearing their shirt inside out after a PE lesson, perhaps you’ll have thought they’re not ready to be responsible for dressing themselves.

But, sticking-out labels aside, there’s a good argument for letting children dress themselves… particularly if they’ve been showing signs of wanting to have more control over what they’re wearing!

For example, allowing children to dress themselves gives them a sense of independence -something they don’t have in abundance at such a young age. We decide our child’s routine, what they eat, where they go and who they see, so being allowed a degree of choice in their clothing is a safe and creative way to give them a little bit of independence.

Also, children will enjoy expressing their individuality if you allow them to dress themselves.Of course, you might not think their outfit looks great if they’re wearing stripes, plaid, denim and tie-dye all at once, but there’s no reason to intervene: let them show off their personality, and know that their sense of style will change as they do.

Most importantly of all, however, is that allowing your child to dress themselves teaches competence. Children need to learn how to handle buttons, zips, ties, laces and other tricky elements of clothing, and they also need to learn how to make simple decisions (such as “this t-shirt or this t-shirt? These socks or these socks?”) in a timely manner.

But, while those are all good reasons to let your child dress themselves from now on, there are a few issues to contend with, aren’t there? For instance, you might encounter problems with:

• weather appropriateness
• age appropriateness
• wardrobe changes
• looking silly

So, how can you overcome these problems so that your child can benefit from all the good things that dressing themselves brings?

Well, with regard to weather appropriateness, set some ground rules. If it’s raining outside or it’s due to rain, you can give your child advance warning that they can pick their clothing but that they must wear waterproof clothing over the top. If they’re lucky enough to own multiple pairs of coats and wellies, give them a selection to choose from. On the other hand, if they have just one waterproof coat and pair of wellies, they will have to accept that this is a part of their outfit they have no say over due to weather conditions.

Secondly, if choosing clothes that are suitable for your child’s age or your family’s values is appropriate, set some ground rules. For instance, if you don’t agree with the message on some items of clothing, give your child advance warning that you won’t be buying them, but that there are other items of clothing that they can choose from. Tell them what kind of clothes they can wear, and give them positive things to look for when you’re shopping with them rather than negative advice.

Thirdly, wardrobe changes can be an issue for the person doing the laundry. When children start dressing themselves they’ll often change their outfit multiple times in the day depending on what they’re doing or the games they’re playing. To overcome this problem, try not to overwhelm your child with too much choice. Instead, give them two or three options to choose from each day, and leave those clothes somewhere accessible. The rest of their wardrobe is off-limits.

Finally, if you’re concerned about your child looking a bit silly because of the combination of clothes they’ve decided to wear, try to remember that it’s not about you. We often think our children are a reflection of ourselves, which is why we get embarrassed if our kids don’t want to dress in the way we want them to. Instead, what your child is choosing to wear is a reflection of who they are while they’re exploring self-expression