You know you’re a parent when………

This week has been a challenging week but a sickness bug working its way around the whole family, but by Friday we thought we were over the worst.

Hubby has the weekend off this week and we had some Frankie & Benny’s vouchers so, to celebrate all being well again after a disastrous Mothers Day last week we decided to head out for a spot of lunch.

We ordered drinks and food and Sebby started guzzling his juice straight away.  He had been snacking all morning but has really got his appetite back after a winter of being poorly so we ordered him a kids meal.  When it arrived, to our surprise, he didn’t seem interested in anything other than the baked beans, but I put it down to the morning’s snacking and the fact we had woken him up to get him out the car.

Then it happened………….

He was sick!

Not just a little bit, it kept coming again and again.

You know you’re a parent when you physically catch your child’s vomit in serviette and your hands.  The opposite table which where some teens were sat looked horrified, but I just mopped him up, cleaned any that had escaped and then headed off to wash my hands, apologising to the staff as we went.

He was perfectly fine afterwards, although we did head straight home where he snuggled on Daddy and had a good snooze.

It did make me think about all the other things that would send any non-parent heading for the hills if they knew what really lay ahead.

You know you’re a parent when:

• You pick your baby / child up and sniff their bottom to see if its them that has created the stink bomb
• You calmly just sit there whilst they throw up all over you, trying to reassure them before even attempting to clear up
• You do a sniff test on a dodgy brown mark on the sofa and pray its chocolate
• Talking about the contents of a baby’s nappy is an acceptable way to describe your day
• You see every hour of the night and it’s not because you’re out partying
• You can understand exactly what your toddler is asking for when no-one else can
• You can understand what grunt means what from your non-communicative teen
• You are still watching kids TV after they have gone to bed and you know all the presenters by first and surnames – you may even chat to some on twitter
• That Frozen / CBeebies CD is the only thing that ever gets played in the car……..this will progress to some annoying teen star such as 1D or Justin Beiber as they get older
• Your once immaculate show home now resembles a local toy shop and tidying up is futile unless they’re in bed
• There are grubby, sticky finger marks everywhere
• You have to hide all the good food! Sweets, Chocolate and cake can be sniffed out in 20 paces
• The kids wardrobe is fashionable and stylish whilst yours, well, isn’t!
• You leave the house with everything except the kitchen sink, just in case.
• You cannot go to the toilet / have a bath without someone hammering on the door exclaiming that they really need a wee!
• You realise you sound just like your mum!
• Your handbag is no longer yours as it contains toys, books and snacks
• You’re known as •insert child name here* Mum
• You excitedly point out a fire engine as you drive along and then realise that there are no kids in the car
• That money you were saving for a long awaited trip to the hairdressers goes on a school trip, dance / swimming lessons
• Even when they leave home you are still the Bank of Mum and Dad
• You think of yourself last every time.

I think that just about covers it for now – what would you add to the list?

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