I was lulled in to a false sense of security at the beginning of term.
Isaac had a really up and down year of school last year and I worked closely with his then teacher to try and help him focus in the classroom.
This year started so well, with his new teacher remarking how grown up he was in comparison to last year and he was even awarded a respect badge.
His behaviour started to go downhill just before the half term break, but we put it down to the fact that he was tired and needed a break from school, as so many children do towards the end of term.
He has been back at school for two weeks now and his behaviour appears to be getting worse by the day, to the point that I was called into the school at break time this morning to speak to him.
The crux of the matter appears to be attention – he wants to be the centre of attention ALL the time.
At parents evening his progress is brilliant, he is ahead of his targets for numeracy and reading, yet does struggle to put pen to paper even though he writes beautifully. He produces great work, especially when the teacher is actively engaging with him but, when she moves away to help support the other pupils his behaviour deteriorates.
He is not a bad boy, it’s silliness and shouting that get him into trouble. The teachers adore his sense of humour and his cheekiness, but he takes it too far at times and it is starting to get in the way of other pupils learning.
I am at a loss of what to do with him as we have tried positive reinforcements, talking to him at length about making the right choices. We have sticker charts for behaviour and instead of a toy reward we are now giving him pocket money as he is desperate for Skylanders Trap Team. It started well and he is very proud of his growing number of coins, but I think its frustrating him as its taking him longer than he anticipated to save what he needs for the game.
The question is what is triggering it?
I have cut back the childminding as he found it really difficult to share his toys and my attention with other children. We make sure he has one on one time with myself or hubby at least once a week and as he is a real outdoorsy boy we make sure we have time outside every day.
I am starting to wonder if its Middle Child Syndrome, but he is anything but left out and invisible. Could he be having a growth spurt – he is small for his age but I have noticed a sudden change and his trousers are arguing with his ankles?
Has your child gone through this – what did you do to support them?
This is a tricky one. It’s hard to know what to suggest as I’m not sure what his teacher has tried before. My son works better/is more focussed when he has an adult there to discuss things with. I think this is because I spent much of my time one-to-one with him when he was little. Maybe he could have a Dictaphone to talk into when he is in class and the teacher is not with him. That might focus him on saying what he needs to say without distracting any of the other children. Or he could be given a short, manageable list of tasks to refer back to in his lessons to keep him focussed. Or maybe he could have a ‘talk partner’ who he is able to chat to at certain times, e.g. the teacher leaves him to do his independent work, he could then spend a few minutes on his task (maybe using a three minute egg timer?), then he will be allowed to speak to his partner for a minute (minute egg timer?). Eventually, these times could be extended as he is able to focus on the task for longer amounts of time. He sounds to me like a kinaesthetic learner, who needs to be ‘doing’ tasks as his preferred method of learning. Possibly, he needs some more ‘hands on’ activities to keep him focussed. Hope you find something that helps soon.x
It’s difficult to know what to do without really knowing your child. Do you think he isn’t being challenged enough at school? He obviously loves being the centre of attention but he has to learn that he can’t be all the time. I wish I could help you. Good luck
It is a difficult one I am wondering like Melissa that it may be he is not getting fully challenged in his classroom work and this is triggering his behaviour. In my daughters classroom there is a boy who displays similar behaviour and they have worked out that the work he was given was just to easy for him and so was misbehaving out of boredom. I do hope you find a solution though as it must be so hard to cope with, my OH will always say to me that if it is a boy throw them into sport to wear them out! Not sure if this is a helpful tip but when he was little he was very much like your son and he says that doing sport every day gave him an energy outlet and focus that helped him. Good luck with Isaac xx
Mini is very cheeky and disruptive when he is bored and this was his issue at school. Once they started to challenge him and keep him busy things got a lost better. Also it might just be a phase!
I haven’t got any words of wisdom I’m afraid. I wonder if he could not feel challenged, it sounds like he is bright and maybe just needs to be engaged more. Easily said than done though isn’t it? Maybe he needs to burn off more energy? Could you get him doing something more active at the start of the day? Our school have an early morning gym class…. Good luck.
I was also going to ask if you think he could be bored. I hope you get to the bottom of it.
To me, as a sub teacher who used to get thrown at the deep end and see this sort of behaviour in class a lot, his behaviour sounds like a cry for one to one interaction. I would just sit down with him and ask plainly what is the matter. Take more time with him and do things he wants you to do with him. Reassure him of your love but be firm and start taking money away from his savings jar for any visit to school you have to do. Hope this will help. Perseverance and consistency also. He will be ok, just needs an extra bit of love for a while.xx
My youngest used to get disruptive in class and the teached honed in on the fact that the tasks she was being given didn’t challenge her enough, leaving her time and energy to spend elsewhere. She was fine after the decided to set her harder tasks. I hope your child’s teacher works with you to have this sorted! 🙂 x
Loving some of the comments above as they are much more helpful than I can be but it did spring to mind that children go through a lot of phases as they grow and for you right now it’s finding the right button to push that will help him get past this one. Like you say he’s not a bad child just very bright and wants to be part of it all the time.
I think it is common with bright children, they get bored and play up – my mate had very similar problems with hers, and no magic wand I am afraid – I do think they all seem to go through phases and hopefully this one is short lived!
I’m afraid that I don’t have any advice to give, but hope you find a solution.
Oh this is such a difficult one. I’ve been called in to speak to my son’s teacher a few times this term and in fact this happens during the first term of every new school year. In my experience it takes them a while to figure out the teacher and what is expected of them. However, I am of the mindset that when the child is at school, there’s very little you can actually do about their behaviour. You can only work together with the teacher on a sticker chart or something but when he’s at school, I’m not sure what you can do? I have sat down and talked to my boy and asked him why he’s playing up – he always blames it on the other children! I since asked the teacher to move him so that he’s not so distracted but essentially, once they get to a certain age, they have to manage it themselves. Good luck, not an easy one xx