I am finding the teen a real struggle these summer holidays!
Not because he is naughty, or under my feet, or rude, but because he is choosing to spend ALL his time in his bedroom like a bat in a Belfry, only appearing for food or a drink.
Try as I might to get him to phone his friends and arrange to go out, he just won’t do it and getting him out the house is like pulling teeth!
Much as I love my technology, I do blame it for this. He is either on his laptop, his phone or the XBox – yes he is talking to his friends online and socialising, but what has happened to going on a really long bike ride, or having a kick about with friends.
I know he is getting some fresh air as we drag him along on many of our days out, sometimes he enjoys himself and other times he just sulks. It is really hard balancing the needs of a teen and the little ones, but I like to think we get it almost right, but even at Camp Bestival, where they had a teen zone, he didn’t want to go and join in with his peers.
It also frustrates me that he cannot get a job because of his age. The waiting list for a paper round at the local newsagent is miles long and the Post Office has stopped running theirs because there just isn’t the demand for papers these days. I think earning his own money would encourage him to go out more as he would be able to spend his money on going out. We certainly cannot afford to foot the bill for the cinema / bowling / swimming every week.
I have persuaded him to organise for him and his friends to go to Laser Quest and Thursday and hope that it will encourage them to get out and about for the remainder of the summer holiday.
How do you persuade your teen to get out and about and not spend 24/7 on technology?
I do fear he is at an age where nothing you arrange to do is fun, cool or exciting. At least you know where he is rather than him aimlessly wandering the streets or terrorising the local shopping centre (I’m fed up with teenagers and their smart comments at mine!)
When we were kids we were never roaming the streets or causing trouble, we would be out in the parks near by, playing football, tennis or just sitting around chatting with our mates, kids shouldn’t want to stay indoors all day, socialising outside of school is sooo important!
that’s all very good if your friends live nearby – my son’s school catchment is approx 25 miles…. my eldest has few local friends :S
I have the opposite problem with mine in that we rarely see him because he is always out. “You treat this place like a hotel” is my new most used phrase. Sadly mine cant get a job because he is out of area at his dads frequently and can’t combine the 2.
It’s quite sad that kids prefer to socialise online, rather than just go outside and meet up. I’m only 25, but it makes me feel old to think that when I was a teen it was SO different, many of us didn’t even have mobiles at this age! I hope you can persuade him to get out more for the remainder of the holidays x Gosh, I’m so glad teenage years are still a long time away from us!
I remember the days when I would go to the park at 8-9 in the morning and moan when I had to come in for my tea at 6-7pm at night!
I really do think it’s sad that kids nowadays would rather stay in than go out. When I was a kid we would up early, out down to one of the man local parks or popping into town on a saturday afternoon. I was never indoors and we never caused any trouble when we were out, we just found things to do. I love technology and social media but it really has killed kids socialising! That was what summer holidays were all about, going out with your friends!!!
We often have similar worries about technology. Maxi would grab technology over most things. As much as I try to encourage him to do other things sometimes I just don’t know what to do
I suppose it is understandable (although still worrying) they has access to so much more technology based things now than we ever did. When I was a kid, there was nothing like that and so we had to go out x
Well my son would be the same if we hand’t been away on holiday. It’s the age I’m afraid
No teens in our house yet but I do remember that I spent a LOT of time wanting to be on my own. Hope you manage to coax him with laser quest!
YES!!! SNAP! So true – it’s infuriating that most places won’t employ under 17s, and yet there is so little for them to do! My eldest will have had nearly TWELVE weeks off as he took GCSEs this year – that’s a HELL of a long time to fill!
Maybe he could wash cars or something?
It’s tough, things have changed so much, I’ve got a long way to go to get to this point but I anticipate having to deal with the same thing – We already have to limit Ethan’s screen time as he’s an absolute addict lol
It is really difficult to balance! I have an 8 yr old autistic son who loves his home comforts and technology. Then an almost 12 year old active and energetic daughter. I need a clone to keep everyone happy!
I don’t have a teen so I can’t give any advice on what to do to get your teen out and about but I do remember from my own teenage year’s my brother also acting the same. I have always been outgoing and wanted friends around me, so it was different for me as I hated being indoors, my brother however loved games but in his own time got bored of technology and ventured out and about again in due time with his friends.
Hopefully he has an amazing time at laser quest on Thursday, it will hopefully give him an insight into how much fun he can have away from technology xx
Answers on a postcard.
My teen (17) does have a job but isn’t putting himself for many hours on the off-chance his friends want to go out. To be fair he has been to the cinema with his friend these holidays, and have made them go to Alton Towers tomorrow (as today is his AS level results). Best of luck with it – and do tweet me if you find any answers.
I have exactly the same issue although he has come out with us in occasion and has started playing football for a team again, which gets him out of his room. If you find something that works well, please let me know
I have no advice I’m afraid as my eldest is oly three, but I think he is at that age where nothing is much fun!
I’m so worried about having a teenager! It’s a few years off for me at the moment but it does worry me. I think unless they have a really strong hobby it must be hard to get them to engage at that age. Are there any volunteering things he could do – for example I know the National Trust run them but I don’t know what age they’re for…af riend of mine went along and helped with something to do with insects I think…anyway maybe volunteering? It’s very tricky and I totally feel for you but you do seem to do a brilliant job of getting him out and about quite a bit. Good luck!
I don’t have teens so can’t comment with any advice but I defo remember doing this myself as a teen. Hope you find something that works! x
Sounds tricky. I’m not looking forward to when my kids become teens – not sure what I would do. Is there any chance you can take the technology out of the bedroom so at least he’s more likely to chat to you?
I’ve stopped worrying about whether mine should be out with his friends – he’s quite happy playing his music etc. He does still enjoy coming on holiday with us and plays/tolerates his little sister quite well. We try to balance what he wants to do with what we can all do as a family.
I can so relate to this! This could have been written about my teen. I don’t understand why he can’t get off his backside and go out to see his friends!
I also find it hard to amuse both him and his 8 year old sister, it must be much more difficult for you with the even bigger age gap.
My husband keeps saying he should earn money, but there is nowhere a 13 year old can earn money, so we’re stuck!
I’ve just read popped over from the Britmums twee/teen roundup, I love the title of this and it describes my son perfectly (& daughter), he would spend every day on his Xbox or on his ipad, I try to encourage him to make arrangements, but he just shrugs, we have to bribe both older kids to get them out!
If I’m honest I can remember wanting to chill out in my room with some pic n mix, mooning over Take That & watching MTV all day and then I went through my going out, drinking and lying about who I was with phase so I welcome the Bat In The Belfry days to continue!