The Vasectomy

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Two Fridays ago was V-Day and I wrote a brief post about how I was feeling whilst sat in the waiting room, but nothing about the procedure itself.


I don’t think hubby was quite prepared for what was going to happen despite having more than one appointment with his GP who explained the procedure and he fully admits that he won’t be a poster boy for it.

When asked what he felt like all I could get out of him was “OUCH!”.

If you’ve ever had a local anaesthetic you will know how much they sting and I cannot even begin to imagine having one downstairs.  He was expecting to have one injection to numb the area, but actually had to have one in each testicle plus one on top of the penis plus a bit of a top up.  He admits he could feel everything, especially when they cut the tubes.

The actual procedure took just 20 minutes and he emerged walking a bit like John Wayne, clutching a couple of sample pots and leaflets about his recovery and I drove him home as gently as I could.



For pain relief all he was advised to take is paracetamol and ibuprofen, which apparently just takes he edge off the pain.  He also gets to wear some very fetching brief style pants which he finds terribly uncomfortable, although they are most amusing for me as they’re just like our 5 year old wears (without the motifs).

Probably the most difficult part of his recovery was trying to stop the children jumping into his lap for a cuddle – we had to tell them he has hurt his leg!

Hubby was back to work the next day under strict instructions not to do too much, no heavy lifting and no driving.  In all honesty it was too soon, but he doesn’t get sick pay and it stopped the kids leaping all over him.  He describes the pain as a dull ache and feels very swollen down below.

He managed three days of no driving before he felt he was able to drive again but the aching feeling only just begun to subside 10 days later.  He was finally  brave enough to have a look at the work on day 7 and described it as “colourful” thanks to the bruising.

That’s not the end of it though. He has to, how do I put it, perform what teenage boys like to do (a lot) 24 times before he can take a sample into the hospital to check the procedure has worked.  Thankfully he has 10 weeks to do this and as a bit of a joke I have bought him the least Christmassy advent calendar I could find and filled it with chocolates as a reward, and so we can keep track of his progress.

Vasectomy Countdown Calendar


I did ask if he’d had a good morning when I found this……

Chocolate Fairy has been busy


…..but it turns out Eliza managed to get passed the stairgate her brother left open  and sniffed out the chocolate!!  It’s now where she can’t reach it!!

Once hubby has completed his Vasectomy Calendar (he hasn’t felt ready to start yet) he has one more challenge to complete – take his sample to the hospital for testing to confirm he is sperm free.  The challenge is that he has just one hour to get his sample to the hospital, whilst keeping it warm on the journey – the hospital is 40 minutes away on a good day.  I can see a comedy skit in the making!

13 thoughts on “The Vasectomy”

  2. What a great and honest post. Me and hubby keep having the V chat but somehow he never seems to make an appointment to see the DR. Will hide your post from him or he might never have it done. Hope your hubby heals soon

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  3. Good luck with the sample. My husband’s words were if it hasn’t worked I’m not going through it again.
    Loved the bit about the pants not having motifs on lol.

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  4. My Hubby had this in May this year, his was not so simple. After years of playing in goal at hockey and get a fair few balls in his erm, balls the Doc said his tubes had matted together so it was a miracle he had fathered 4 children. The doc had to peel his tubes apart before he could perform the surgery. His procedure took 40 mins n he spent the next two days with frozen peas on and off his bits to help with the pain. Then his Mum came to cook tea for him as I was away and yes you guessed it, she picked the wrong bag out of the freezer and they all ate his V-peas for tea ROFL!!

    Strange thing though, my Hubby had too send his sample back through the post because Doc said it didn’t matter if they were alive or dead, they just shouldn’t be there full stop??

    Reply

  5. My Hubby had this in May this year, his was not so simple. After years of playing in goal at hockey and get a fair few balls in his erm, balls the Doc said his tubes had matted together so it was a miracle he had fathered 4 children. The doc had to peel his tubes apart before he could perform the surgery. His procedure took 40 mins n he spent the next two days with frozen peas on and off his bits to help with the pain. Then his Mum came to cook tea for him as I was away and yes you guessed it, she picked the wrong bag out of the freezer and they all ate his V-peas for tea ROFL!!

    Strange thing though, my Hubby had too send his sample back through the post because Doc said it didn’t matter if they were alive or dead, they just shouldn’t be there full stop??

    Reply

  6. Heh heh I will hold me hands up – I once wrapped a sample in a woolly sock and got a taxi to hospital – only to have to remove it from the sock in front of the hunky male receptionist – I cringed!

    Reply
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