For the last few weeks I have been tentatively returning to the workplace and not working from home and I have loved it.
Until I became a childminder I always enjoyed working in a customer service environment where I got to chat to work colleagues and the general public during the day and although my new role still involves working with children, to have other adults to talk and feedback to makes me realise how much I missed it.
Some of my previous colleagues, me included, used to joke that we went to work for a break and I am still not a person that can sit at home all day, everyday, choosing to take the kids out to the beach, forest or farm.
Today however, I had my first back to work wobble. On Friday Eliza announced she was being celebrated in assembly at school for the first time and I hoped that work would be able to let me out for 15 minutes so I could watch her, but sadly they couldn’t spare me so I missed out.
I had forgotten how gut wrenching it is knowing you are missing out on an important part of your children’s life and it brought all the memories back of missing sports days, plays and school trips with my others which I still feel guilty about to this day. I just hope Eliza wasn’t too upset at me not being there to see it.
In my head I have it all planned out. I am studying to be a teaching assistant so when Sebastian starts school in 2017 I can find a job in a school so that my work fits around the kids and their school hours. I am well aware that jobs within school hours are few and far between and ones that allow you the holidays off too are extremely rare so there will be lots of competition.
It has made me question if going back to work, even part-time, is the right thing to do as I don’t want to miss out on these milestones again, yet I think going back to work would be good for me and give me a new focus.
Have you had to make this difficult decision?